I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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