You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
