Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
