I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
