yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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