idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
