and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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