I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
