dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
