it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
