Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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