He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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