I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
