She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
