Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
