Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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