i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
