So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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