I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I am one with the molecules
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
