he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Sorry about my life...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
