her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
