i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
