Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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