i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
