Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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