Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
