speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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