Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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