Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
