You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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