bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
