69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
