HIV tests are more positive than that guy
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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