Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
