Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
