Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
someone threw a dead crab at me
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
