Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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