Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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