So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
