what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
