There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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