I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
