Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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