the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
