theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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