yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
