Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
