i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Acid is not a monday night drug
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
