Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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