Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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