Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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